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Beyond Welcome: Show, Don't Tell​


“Show, don’t tell” is a phrase well-known to most anyone who has taken a writing course. Using this technique, authors convey a story or some plot point through dialogue or actions, thoughts, sensory events, and emotions, instead of through argument, thesis and antithesis, exposition, conclusion, and so on. It was summed up by Anton Chekhov: “Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.”

After reading the gospel account of Jesus’ visit to Martha and Mary, I got to thinking how both women showed—and didn’t merely tell—Jesus of their love for him, how they showed that they cherished his presence, and how they showed their care for him.

For whatever reason, for the first time “show, don’t tell” also struck me as an ideal approach to the matter(s) of hospitality, welcoming, and so on—whatever your preferred term may be.
Picture

​At the first parish I worked for full-time as a liturgist/musician, I’d been informed at my interview that the parish had something of a reputation for being cliquish and rather cold to outsiders. The solution the liturgy committee had reached was to have the commentator (a role fully envisioned by the liturgical documents) say that the parish extended a warm welcome to everyone. Since—as in most parishes—99%+ of those in attendance were members and/or people who regularly attended Mass there—it seemed odd to me that this welcome should be extended week after week.
​
I’ll confess a personal bias against terms such as “welcome” or “hospitality” mostly because I think they can cause or at least perpetuate a rather wobbly ecclesiology. My frame of reference (and I know there are others) is that of welcoming or showing hospitality to people in my home: while I am pleased to have guests, they don’t live there; while I want people to be comfortable in my home, I do have a solid sense of what is mine and, therefore, what isn’t theirs. It all sets up a me/you, us/them, insider/outsider dynamic.
Picture

​A reflection, “Guests among Guests” by Rev. Mary Luti, recently helped me come to terms with many of my views about this issue. She observed that—except for the feeding of the multitude, the Last Supper, and the post-resurrection breakfast on the beach—whenever Jesus was at table, it was always somebody else’s, be it Levi or Zacchaeus, various Pharisees, Peter’s wife, or Martha of Bethany.

She continues: “So when we say we welcome everyone to the church’s table because Jesus welcomed everyone to his, we’re on shaky evidentiary ground. Which doesn’t argue for exclusion. It only suggests that Jesus may present a challenge to us not so much because he was a gracious host, but because he was a willing guest.  If our churches aren’t very inclusive, it might be because too many of us have mistaken ourselves for the Giver of the Feast. We’re not hosts extending invitations. We’re guests among guests. Yet we behave as if having arrived earlier than others has given us proprietary rights over the hall. [C]hurches will more closely resemble God’s all-embracing realm when we relinquish our sense of entitlement to them, cease welcoming others as if there’s such a thing as “others,” stop playing munificent hosts, and learn to be good guests.”

​
Picture

Each in her own way, Mary and Martha employed “show, don’t tell” during Jesus’ visit, and I think their witness is a helpful foundation for us. There are nuts ‘n’ bolts hospitality concerns for Martha to take care of: people need to know the restroom location, what the songs are, and it certainly helps the whole experience to have a “hello” or a “good morning” from a friendly face at the door—especially for those who live alone or are the only members of a household who attend. Following the lead of Mary of Bethany, we do need to make sure that the word is heard clearly, that there is prayerful attentiveness, framed with the dialogue of both silence and response. Still, as important as caring for these essential details is, we can’t mistake accomplishing them for the accomplishing of the broader mission of incarnating “God’s all-embracing realm.”
​
My own sense has long been that we should be speaking of our churches/parishes/congregations as places of belonging, places of inconceivable inclusion, and—above all—places in which we relentlessly show, show, show—so we don’t have to tell.
​
Picture
By Alan Hommerding for Pray TellBlog.com. The original article can be viewed by clicking here.

​​Images from Unsplash and Pixabay. Used under license/with permission.

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  • Mystery and Mission
  • Archive
    • Conversion, Healing, Penance
    • Desiderio Desideravi
    • In Search of Peace
    • Word of God Sunday
    • Living Lent >
      • Forty Lenten Ideas
      • Lent is a time to grow in the faith
      • Walking the Stations of the Cross this Lent
    • Saints and Souls >
      • Saintly Endeavours
      • Let the Dead Have November
      • Why We Pray for the Faithful Departed
    • Lay Liturgical Ministry >
      • Talents for Ministry
      • Nine Steps to Becoming a Better Lector
      • Ministers of Communion​
    • Music Matters >
      • Repertoire and Renewal
      • Liturgical Song and Evangelisation ​
      • 5 tips for effective music ministry
    • 50 Days of Easter >
      • Celebrating Easter's 50 Days
      • Aspects of the Ascension
      • Reflections for Pentecost Sunday
    • Saint Joseph >
      • Patris corde (With a Father's Heart)
      • Celebrating St Joseph in the Liturgy
      • St Joseph in Scripture
    • Christmas 2020 >
      • On the Meaning and Importance of the Nativity Scene
      • Botticelli - The Mystical Nativity
      • The Season of Christmas
    • Planning for Christmas 2020 >
      • Planning Christmas Masses 2020
      • Re-emerging With Purpose
      • Beyond Welcome: Show, Don't Tell
    • Signs and Symbols >
      • Sacramental Signs and Symbols
      • The cross reminds us of the sacrifices of the Christian life
      • Signs & Symbols: A Reflection
    • Looking Forward >
      • Solemnities on Saturdays
      • Our Family at Mass in the Age of Technology
      • Is your RCIA open all year-round? - Embracing 'Pyjama Catechesis'
    • Eucharist as Living Memory >
      • Memory is not Something Private
      • So what's wrong with a Virtual Mass?
      • The Middle of Nowhere
    • What have we learned from lockdown? >
      • Church After Coronavirus - New Understandings of Social MIssion
      • Virus and Vocation
      • Real Presence and Virtual Liturgies
    • Celebrating Holy Week in COVID times​ >
      • Coronavirus and the Eucharist
      • How to celebrate the liturgy when there is no Mass
      • Holy Week At Home
    • Solidarity and Unity >
      • Taking Communion to those who Self-Isolate
      • Peace and Solidarity
      • United to Christ We Are Never Alone
    • Preparing for Lent >
      • The Weeks of Lent in the Australian Imagination
      • How to Prepare for Lent
      • It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Lent
    • Liturgy with Children >
      • Using the Lectionary for Masses with Children
      • Praying Morning Prayer with Primary School Children
      • Directory for Masses with Children
    • Praying For Rain >
      • National Drought Prayer Campaign
      • Praying for Rain - Prayer Resources
      • A Ritual of Lament
    • Christian Initiation >
      • CATECHUMENATE - Rolling Year Round
      • Inculturating Christian Life in the Digital World
      • Tweens and Teens in the RCIA
    • Season of Creation >
      • Season of Creation September 1 - October 4
      • The Cosmic Song of 'Laudato Si'
    • Ordinary Time >
      • The Season of Ordinary Time
      • Sunday - The Original Feast
      • Luke's Gospel
    • Saints and Feasts >
      • Mary and the Saints
      • Saints and Martyrs
      • Who Are the Saints?
    • Eucharist >
      • The Centrality of the Eucharist
      • Space Matters
      • Can you drink the cup?
    • Altar Servers
    • Ministers of the Word
    • Children's Liturgy of the Word on Sundays
    • Advent Issues >
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        • Advent
        • Music in Advent
        • Advent BOB
      • The Season of Advent
    • Liturgy Preparation
    • Communion
    • A pastoral map to baptism
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    • Music Ministry
    • Reconciliation
    • Women Deacons, Music Choices and Lent
    • Data Projectors
    • The Christmas Season >
      • The Book of Blessings
      • Formation in Liturgy
    • The Year of Youth
    • Should we celebrate Australia Day?
    • Marriage
    • Easter Triduum
    • ANZAC Day
    • Funerals
    • The problem of translation
    • Advent resources for families
  • Subscribe